Added: Braylon Burriss - Date: 07.04.2022 20:05 - Views: 35936 - Clicks: 4772
All women who were invited to take part in the qualitative interview agreed to participate. The median age when they first moved to the U. Of those born outside of the U. Forty-three percent indicated that one or more of their male partners in the past 12 months were "probably" or "definitely" having sex concurrently with other women. Our qualitative analysis identified two overarching themes related to African American and Hispanic women's relationship beliefs and experiences.
The first highlighted the contradictions between women's expectations and desires for their relationships and life circumstances that sometimes negated such ideals. Within this theme, we discovered six subthemes: a good man is hard to find; sex can be currency used to secure desired outcomes; compromises and allowances for cheating, irresponsible, and disrespectful behavior; redefining what dating means; sex just happens; needing relationship validation. The second theme focused on relationship challenges and had two subthemes: uncertainties and miscommunication, a nd negotiating relationship power.
Gender differences in relationship intentions and desires as well as communication styles, the importance of emotional and financial support, and the potential for relationships to provide disappointment were recurrent within all eight subthemes. Lastly, in examining HIV risk perceptions we found risk for HIV infection was largely viewed as a problem faced by others, who were seen as being "not like" the participant.
A Good Man is Hard to Find. Participants indicated that the ideal man respected, loved, and accepted them and their children, was faithful, and could be counted on to provide emotional "was there for her", "backed her up", "encouraged her" as well as financial support.
Some participants emphasized that it was important to find a man that they got along with well, could talk to about anything, who shared similar interests or goals, and who spent time with them. Others focused on having a man who had his life together "knew where he was going with his life"or was stable and responsible. Such men were portrayed as honest, trustworthy, educated, employed, having high self-esteem, working toward achieving their goals and aspirations, and being religiously or spiritually observant.
Participants, in particular those from AL and NC, made it clear, however, that partner availability often outweighed desired partner preferences. It was viewed that "a good man was hard to find" given difficulties that men had with fidelity or commitment as well as shortages of available men. One participant stated:. Participants held that men in turn sought an independent, good-looking female partner who was either only interested in a sexual relationship with no emotional commitment or offered willingness to commit emotionally and sexually only to him as well as manage the household and do the childrearing.
As explained by one participant. Sex as Social Currency. Sex was described as having social, emotional, physical, and economic value i. Participants indicated that sex could be withheld or offered to achieve desired relationship outcomes. In situations where a committed relationship was not desired or attainable by a woman, participants indicated that women sought sexual partners who could provide money and other material benefits as well as sexual satisfaction.
As one NC woman commented. Compromises and Allowances. Participants indicated that heterosexual sexual relationships are stable when couples are compatible, spend time together and demonstrate acceptance, love, and respect for one another. Equal decision-making, commitment, and communication were viewed as being central for a relationship to endure.
Conversely, deception i. Disrespect and poor communication were viewed as early indicators "red flags" of and subsequent contributors toward relationship problems. Participants held low, if any, expectations that a sexual partner would remain sexually faithful and acknowledged that having multiple sexual partners was not unique to men; however, references to women cheating were not common. Participants repeatedly talked about how other women were likely to put up with a cheating man.
They explained that such women preferred "being blind" to infidelity; thus, not knowing or not being able to prove that a man was cheating, required no action on the woman's part and less likelihood for relationship conflict. Mention of men's inability or unwillingness to practice sexual fidelity was presented in conjunction with other role performance failures e. Participants indicated that there was an expectation that a man will take the initiative to perform his role and handle his responsibilities but "if there's something needs to be done, [a woman] will get out and just do it.
Participants reported that women also sometimes tolerated verbal abuse and physical violence. A of participants spoke of their personal experiences with intimate partner violence. One participant explained that:.
Some women get beat and they leave. And I got beat and I left. Overall, participants talked at length about the importance of trying to work through problems.
Some participants commented that they personally tried to work through a partner's infidelity as long as he strove to be financially responsible able to provide for her and her children. All viewed men as having low tolerance for women who cheated or were unable to carry out their expected traditional mothering, nurturing, and domestic caretaking roles.
Participants commented that in such situations, men are more likely to leave or find another woman than to try to work things out. Redefining What it Means to Date. Idealistic expectations "how it should be" about relationship development were commonly expressed by participants. Descriptions of personal relationship experiences that failed to meet those expectations were offered by some of the participants. References to dating were largely in the context of relationship histories in their younger days.
Participants indicated that in the present day, conventional dating was less common; a man might call or drop by, but that he did not take a woman out to dinner or a movie. This interaction was described typically as involving alcohol use and sexual activity. One participant explained:.
Across these six courtship scenarios, five common themes on courtship evolution were found: connecting, appraising intent, having sex, bonding, and outcomes Additional File 2. Connecting included a range of behaviors. Depending on the type of courtship scenario, connecting involved a passive role whereby a physical place e. A ppraising involved strategies for both determining a man's relationship intentions and for getting to know him. Participants described sometimes relying on second-hand information e. For the most part, participants described a "game-playing" strategies that included delaying subsequent contact with a potential partner e.
The having sex theme focused on the timing of the initiation of sexual interaction. In some instances this happened shortly after meeting or once an interest in developing a relationship was made known by one or both parties. In scenarios where sex occurred shortly after meeting, women often described a physical connection or attraction that fueled the encounter, despite the inability to ensure the relationship would continue.
Other women described delaying sex ranging from hours to weeks until they could develop a bond or gauge the level of commitment their partner was willing to provide. Bonding referred to whether or not an emotional commitment resulted.
With the exception of starting out as friends or being introduced by a common source, most courtship scenario outcomes were depicted as not resulting in a committed relationship and ending in disappointment. Boundaries between romantic and non-romantic sexual relationships were perceived to be clear and well-defined. Romantic relationships were described as involving a range of sexual and non-sexual overtures that validated a woman's belief that a man was emotionally prepared to commit to her.
In the idealized committed relationship, men and women took time to get to know one another, spent time together and met one another's families regardless of when sex was introduced as part of the relationship. If sex occurred immediately or shortly after meeting, concepts of love at first sight, being drawn to him, and having a strong chemistry helped explain the behavior.
In contrast, non-romantic relationships were primarily about having sex where emotional ties were neither expected nor fostered by one or both parties. In talking about non-romantic sexual relationships, participants spoke of sexual encounters consistent with what has been presented in the literature as well as the popular media as the hook-up, the booty call, and friends with benefits without necessarily using these terms. One participant shared the following perspective:. Although women could and did maintain non-romantic relationships with men that did not involve sex, such relationships were considered rare as also shown in the quote above.
Participants largely viewed completely platonic friendships between men and women as improbable. FL participants were more likely to talk about platonic and familial relationships between men and women as indicated by the following:. Sex Just Happens. Overall, participants acknowledged that the phases that men and women should go through before having sex had changed from that of their parents' generation, where sex was perceived as less casual. These days, having sex was generally described as just happening.
It was viewed as being spurred by physical, emotional, and psychological e. In addition, it was reported that sex was typically initiated by men. Participants uniformly acknowledged that while men were always ready to have sex, it was women who actually controlled when the first sexual encounter occurred as well as the frequency of on-going sexual activity.
Setting the sexual pace, however, was viewed to come with a risk. A relationship might not continue after the initial sexual encounter if sex took place before a man and a woman had gotten to know one another well enough. Some mention was made of the potential risk for STIs, including HIV, if one did not know a sexual partner's background and sexual history. Participants indicated that decisions about sex, including whether or not condoms should be used, were seldom talked about, but were instead made in the heat of the moment.
A participant explained:. Within a dyadic partnership, participants indicated the importance of both parties viewing themselves as a committed couple, and presenting themselves in the community as such. This aled to the woman as well as to others, that a couple has a strong bond i. Incidentally, AL and NC participants observed that marriage and long-term relationships were not common within their social networks.
Uncertainties and Miscommunication. Heterosexual sexual relationships were often characterized by uncertainty e. As explained by one FL participant, "we tolerate the things we don't like in the conquest". In general, women perceived men as principally interested in getting a woman to have sex with him as soon as possible i.
Participants indicated that when a man and a woman are interested in developing a relationship, they are typically on their best behavior. Cross-gender communication was identified as critical in establishing a good relationship, but viewed as being seldom achieved. This was primarily attributed to men and women holding different relationship priorities. Men were thought to be interested primarily in having their sexual and other physical needs met i. The idea that women love more or that women love harder was presented.
In general, men were depicted as detached, uninterested in commitment, and unable or unwilling to talk about their feelings.
Women, in contrast, were described as needing to talk about their feelings as well as the mundane events and people in their daily lives, but refrained from such discussions to avoid conflict or further detachment by the man. Non-verbal communication e. Participants perceived that women who made themselves too readily sexually available comes off too easy or too strong risked getting a bad reputation. Some women indicated that they were comfortable talking to their partners about sex, while others indicated that having such discussions was extremely difficult.
Negotiating Power. Participants indicated that this "just do it" attitude demonstrated a women's ability to be independent and self-sufficient; when a man failed to act, it was up to the woman to make sure that things got done. Participants talked about situations where one party, namely the man, held control in the relationship. Some participants indicated that a woman had to stand up for herself to avoid having a man think that he could " walk over her ".
Others stressed that the idea of being controlled by a partner due to his insecurity, jealousy, and mistrust sexual and financial often led to the man believing that his permission was needed for a woman to do things and that he had the right to enforce such rules. While not restricted to the FL women's experiences, the quote below helps illustrate how conflict and violence were discussed as potential risks of going against a partner's wishes:. It's Somebody Else's Problem. In talking about persons at risk for HIV infection, participants seldom included themselves in the risk they identified.
Statements that a participant was "not like those women" or that others were "worse than me" were common. Youth persons 12—18 years of agedrug users, and sex workers were commonly identified as being at highest risk.Hispanic female friend
email: [email protected] - phone:(214) 182-8548 x 8252
40 Spanish Nicknames to Express Affection for Friends, Family, Lovers and Strangers